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It all started so innocently…

Posted by Miss Knotty on February 11, 2007

Or – tales of the project unfaithful.

That’s right. I have an Olivier Martinez to my Richard Gere

I give you Exhibit A:
Circumnavigated Cardigan - Ole Faithful Another of the CC

The Circumnavigated Cardigan, completed to the fused pocket – it’s faithful, slow-going, solid knitting. It will be there for me, for a good long while (because it’s taking forever to knit). It’s navy, it’s solid, it’s nice-feeling yarn.

I give you Exhibit B:

The Garterlac Dishcloth. My Olivier Martinez. A steamy, brief fling (begun and finished in two nights). We met on a website. I flirted a little, “he” flirted a little. We’ve known each other for quite some time. Sometimes he would give me a ‘come hither’ whisper from my ‘printed patterns’ book (I have a couple of three-ring binders full of patterns I’ve printed from Knitty, people’s blogs, from Magknits, from Flickr, etc., etc., etc… And sometimes, it would say, ‘come on, Miss Knotty, you know you want to.’.

I wanted to. I had all the materials (US 7 Needles, a couple balls of leftover Sugar and Cream yarn…. But Circumnavigated – I need to be faithful. What about Granny’s socks? I heard them calling to me from my knitting bag too, they’re my long-standing mini-project, and I have a deadline coming up for them… I know, I know, but I just…. want something quick and dirty. Something I can start and learn something new on, and then be done with. A dishcloth is optimal for these sorts of things, you know? Short, but long enough so that you get the ‘muscle memory’, but you still can start one, work on it for 3 days (MAX!), bind it off, and then use it straightaway – you don’t even really have to feel guilty about not blocking it. It’s a DISHCLOTH! The dishes won’t mind!

Anyway, so I cast on and followed the pattern. All was going well: Garterlac1 - Vanilla Fling

Then, then I got kinky. No, not that Kinky. Just a little color-crazy. Mostly because I ran out of what I was using and I wasn’t finished with the pattern. So I just added another color on. Any old color (that I had already used in a dishcloth and had a lot of extra hanging around).. And it (it, not I) got demanding. Feh. It decided that patterning was the order of the day. Ribbing, it said. So I complied. Ribby Entrelac Seed Stitch, it said (even on an edge triangle!!Seedy Seed Stitch Entrelac Seedy Edge Kinky!!! (for you Entrelac cognoscenti out there, that was a ‘decrease triangle’).

So it was good that I finished it out quickly, because there’s NO TELLING what it might have asked me to do after that.

That said, Circumnavigated has very amicably agreed to take me back, if I work on him for a while tomorrow. He’s such a good project. He puts up with me, even when I callously toss him aside for the flavor of the day. Phew.

A quick word about taxes:

I can’t do your taxes. Really. You wouldn’t want me to. It would end badly (by badly, of course, I mean it would end with one or both of us in prison, and not even in the same cell together, which, if it happened, wouldn’t be as bad as being in jail all alone. Just sayin’).

As far as doing taxes, it only took me an hour or so to do my taxes, b/c I don’t own anything (house, car, etc.) that I have to deal with a lot of tax ramifications, as a result of owning them. I probably wouldn’t opt to own anything if I knew in advance that I would have to deal with tax ramifications as a result of owning it.

Thank goodness yarn isn’t taxable (beyond sales tax), or else I would have been filing for an extension, for SURE!

It’d be cool if yarn were tax-deductible, though, wouldn’t it? Can we get some kind of ‘complementary mental healthcare exemption’ or something? …. I’m going to have to talk to a tax attorney about that. (deep thoughts face)

I mean, consider the benefits of knitting and yarn handling:

Relieves stress, if we’re stressed out (definite mental benefit), which, in turn, will decrease heart rate, even out breathing, lower blood-pressure, and help muscles relax (if you’re like me…. I’m rather a tense person, and when I’m lovin’ on a skein of yarn that wants me to take it home and make it something, all those muscles that hold stress (in my neck and shoulders and upper back) start to unclench and relax, which has to be good for my muscles, right? It’s like unclenching your jaw when you know you grind your teeth.

Talking about yarn, and projects-in-progress is relaxing, and (I’m sure!) will lower blood-pressure (if the project is going well)

Talking/venting about the project-in-progress that is not going well, or a new yarn that is causing problems – relieves stress, helps develop problem-solving skills, if you’re of the DIY persuasion.

Purchasing yarn at the brick-and-mortar shop helps drive the local economy –

Seeing the colors and textures of different yarns inspires creativity, which can help with problem-solving (on a sticky pattern problem), or to come up with something entirely new, as an outlet for pent-up… whatever.

Anyway, I’m just putting this out there in the ether. Mostly it’s just silly, wishful ramblings of a girl who’d like a bigger tax refund (I have to buy a new radiator, but that’s a story for another day).

I’m going to bed now, to ponder the effects of my impulsive behaviour (i.e. knitting a dishcloth in 2 days – my hands are kinda sore now…. Cotton yarn can be a little tough on the hands, what with the whole ‘inelasticity when dry’ thing. Anyway, I’ll likely be using this dishcloth/washcloth very soon (bwahahahaa) – when I do dishcloths I press them into service pretty immediately. Mostly owing to the fact that I don’t have very many, and I have dirty dishes to get cleaned up before I put them in the dishwasher for some mandatory hot water scrubbage.

So I’m feeling a little committment phobic right now. Not wanting to work the sweater. It’s gotten to be a bit of a chore. It’s taken a long time, and it’s getting heavy, and I’m getting to know it too well, and I’m kind of tired of it. I see lots of small projects in my future – dishcloths, socks, maybe a hat or two, but not a lot of long things – sweaters/afghans…. not so much. Maybe it’s committment phobia – it probably is… I don’t stay in long-term relationships with men, why would I stay in long-term relationships with knitting projects? I like quick things. I can knit them and start and finish them quickly. I’m all about that.

…But there’s something about a sweater. Something about a wearable that you spent a long time working on. I mean, I think it’s like that whole ‘impossible dream boyfriend’ that I have. “That perfect combination of ‘there’ and ‘space’…. Just the right amount.” – Missy, Advice From a Caterpillar

I mean, I know relationships (and sweaters) take work – which is probably why I’m so fixated on very very small, low-committment projects right now. I don’t want to put the work that I know it’ll take into the garment to keep it going. I want to sum it up to ‘I just can’t, okay?’, and move on to The Next Big Thing’. But that doesn’t say much to my maturity level, or my stick-to-it-iveness (I didn’t make it up, but I’m using it.) And somewhere inside of me, I do want to rekindle and work more on the Circumnavigated Cardi, I’m just…. I don’t know, maybe I’m worried that I’ll work on it and love it, and work and spend time on it, only to be disappointed in the outcome, after all that time, rather like my relationship with He Who Shall Never Not Be Named. I poured my heart and soul into loving that guy, and he cheated on me, and did drugs in my house (a SEVERE no-no), he stole from me, and then, despite my knowledge that I needed to get out, that he was hurting me, He threw ME out. Not the other way around. Not the way it should have been. Not me walking out. No…. He told me on a Friday that he would be back on Sunday, and he wanted me out before then. What a classy guy louse. I didn’t mean to turn all morose on you, and I don’t usually like to get ‘real’ on here, because people like sweetness and light and not ‘real life’ stuff, but it seems like maybe, just maybe, if I put this up here, it’ll maybe help me let go of it. I have been trying to let it go for 8 years now, and I keep thinking I have, and then it just re-manifests itself in some new way. Now it seems to be in my knitting. I don’t like that, not one bit. I can’t commit to a sweater? Because of that … that….. person (and this word is used very loosely in relation to HWSNNBN)? What. Ever.

But anyway, yeah, I might have a bit of commitment phobia. What since my first ‘love’* turned out to be such a wash.

*I do realize that what HWSNNBN felt towards me was not love, was never, ever, EVER love, but I really believe that I loved him. And he broke my heart. Right into little pieces. A person doesn’t just bounce back from that. Not even after 8 years.

As an aside, maybe I’m just fixated on this because next week contains that scourge to singlehood everywhere, February 14. Blech. The only really good thing about February 14 is that it’s not a real holiday. I don’t know if I could deal if the banks and Post Office closed for that farce.


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