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Things to do on a Saturday Night:

Posted by Miss Knotty on January 28, 2007

or: Proof positive that I might be the most boring person alive:

1) E-file my tax return.

2) Hunt for a missing movie. (I seem to have mislaid one of my *lock*uster total access movies. Argh. Grr. Blah. I’m hunting for it. I know it’s here SOMEWHERE, I just have to find it. Sigh.

3) Read blogs.

4) Write blogs.

5) Go to bed.

Further proof that I’m a pretty low-key kind of person, some days. Usually the days that I have done stuff, but forgot my camera and have no pictures to show, and am slightly irritated by some facet of mundane life or other. Like, for instance, the movie I wanted to watch, that I have on video and have had for a week, has DISAPPEARED in my apartment. I knew where it was at the end of LAST WEEK, but it’s been rather a crazy week and I can’t find it now. So yeah.

And the worst part is that I KNOW it’s here, nearby somewhere. I know it is. But I can’t lay hands on it. And that bugs me.

When I lose things that I KNOW are nearby, I can’t sleep until I find them. It just eats away at me, and drives me slowly mad. I know I put it SOMEWHERE so that I’d be able to find it when I had time to watch it, and I know that that somewhere was on the dining room table. And yet, it is not there. The Things That Get Up And Move Themselves (TTTGUAMT) have struck again. I’m sure it’s sitting around here, huddled up with all the socks I’ve lost in the dryer, and canoodling with all my clothes that actually fit (they’ve all been replaced with down-sized versions of themselves. I’m SURE that I don’t know how this happened, or when).

For all I know it might be in the laundry basket, or in the freezer. Oh, wait, there’s NOTHING in the freezer but a box of Ghiradelli chocolates and a package of baking soda. The necessities of life.

I’ve hunted all over the place now, my coffee table, dining room table, desk, floor, area around my dining room table, in my knitting bag, Through my stash (admittedly, this might have been a detour) in my bag from my retreat, on the shelf above my desk, near my tv and vcr, near my other videos, etc. and I KNOW it’s here somewhere. I wouldn’t have taken it anywhere with me, because of this very reason (reason being concern that I might mislay it), and now I’ve not only mislaid it, I’ve pretty much LOST it (I realize that this is a semantic point, and that to mislay something is the same as losing it, but just go with me on this one, and treat it as I do, a matter of degree ), and don’t know where to find it. And the worst part is that I’ve moved so much stuff and so many piles around that I can’t even really retrace my steps, because my ‘retraced’ steps have been obscured by the stuff I threw out of the way when I was trying to retrace my steps from the LAST time I was trying to retrace my steps. So now I’m trying to retrace the retracement of my retraced steps (wait – what?) and trying to remember which pile this or that came from in order to restore my fragile sense of ‘hey, it might be a mess, but it’s my mess’ order.

It’s beginning to sound suspicicously like I need to stop trying to retrace my steps and just clean my darned apartment. Does it sound like that to you? Don’t answer, if your answer is yes. If you just think it, it’s likely that the reverberation from all of y’all thinking ‘yes’ in unison will bounce off the Hubble Telescope, sending it wildly out of control, which, in turn, will send out a shockwave that will bump Haley’s Comet, thus changing its course and ramming it into whatever Heavenly Body it’s cruising by at the time, causing a giant flash in the sky that lasts for several months and causes multiple notable cosmologists to re-schedule what they have supposed to be the time and date for the End Of The World for no less than 14 hours sooner than before, spreading worry and panic all over the ‘verse, and causing an end to Subtlety. At which point, people will begin to wonder what the heck I just said I’ll get the hint. What?*

Hunting for the video has now eaten up several hours of my life. So now it’s nearly 1:30 in the morning(okay, actually, now it’s after 2:00, b/c I’ve been reading and editing this post for a little while now), and I’m still hunting for a video that it would have taken less time for me to actually sit and watch than it has taken for me to locate, and I still haven’t located it. Hrm… I’m beginning to notice a disparity in the cost/benefits here…..

Alls I’m saying, is that it better be a DARNED good movie. I’ll let you know, once I FIND it.

*Yeah, I know it didn’t make sense. But I thought it was funny. So laugh. Or scratch your head. Or call the men in the white suits. I don’t care. I can’t find that darned video and I need to clean my apartment. It’s late at night on a Saturday after I worked a 56 1/2 hour** week. I MIGHT be a little punch-drunk. It happens. Oh, and I had an ABSOLUTELY-FREAKING-AMAZING cup of coffee at about 5:00, and I might be a little wired for sound. That also happens. Thanks for the coffee, Mr. Good friend! :-)***

** Yes, it was 56 1/2 hours. I counted it up.

** Mr. Good friend is the husband of a knitting friend of mine (We’ll call her Good friend, in the interest of protecting her privacy). We visited. He got one of these really neato coffeemakers for Christmas and was demonstrating the use of it (by brewing unbelievably delicious coffee that was even more delicious than the most delicious French press coffee I’ve ever had.) It was Guatemalan French Roast from Dunn Brothers. Good coffee. Good, strong coffee. Good, strong, Caffeinated (with a capital C!) coffee. I think you get the drift.

EDITED TO ADD: I found the video about 10 minutes after I finished writing this post.  I kept having suspicions about the couch eating it.  So I moved the pillows around.  And there it was. Under one of the pillows.  Not one of the cushions, mind you. No.  Under one of the STINKIN’ pillows.  Mocking me. Still, point taken.  I’ll clean my apartment.  Eventually. Probably when I start looking for something else that has gone missing.


One Response to “Things to do on a Saturday Night:”

  1. AlisonH said

    You already did your taxes?!! Tell you what, make you a deal, you go lose something else and I’ll come spend however many hours looking for it and finding it for you while you do my taxes. Sound like a plan? (Oh I wish.)

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