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A common event? (This entry has almost no knitting content, until the very bottom.)

Posted by Miss Knotty on June 16, 2006

Warning to my knitterly friends: This entry has almost no knitterly content. The very very bottom has an OTN segment, that’s it. I’ll have knitting content soon. Promise *crosses heart*.

Caveat: Please do not send money. This entry is not a plea for money or any kind of charity. I just wanted to put this out there because it’s a struggle for me, and I wanted to share it. I believe that it draws people together to share their struggles, as it does to share their triumphs. Just my $.02.

______________On to the blog entry portion of the blog_______________

I have been having a faith challenge this week. Big time. I’m still being challenged. But I’m working on it.

Okay. Here’s the circumstances without exact figures:

I got my paycheck yesterday, on June 15. It was a typical paycheck, no overtime. (I’m salaried).

I went to pay my bills last night. I had my money book (where I keep track of spending/expenses and my budget). My tithe is a line item in my budget. It is not negotiable, and it’s not a contingency fund that I pull from ‘just in case’.

God wants to bless us abundantly, if we trust in Him to supply our needs. I believe this. So, I wrote my tithe check and then ticked off the money for my expenses.

The good news: my bills are paid.
The bad news: my bank account, while not technically empty, might as well be.
The worse news: today is only June 16 (although it may have turned over to June 17 as I’ve written my entry here).

The only thing I can cut that would give me a pillow is my tithe. Everything else is down to bare minimums. So do I cut my tithe? My mind (my worldly, self-centered, often-fear-controlled mind) says ‘yes!!! Cut it!!! Leave it in your account – God knows and will understand. He will forgive you for keeping your money, this time.’ My heart’s response to this thinking, is ‘yeah, good job, Whimsy, way to walk in faith’.

When I think about it, it feels like a sticky problem. But it’s just struck me, that it’s not sticky at all. You either do tithe, or you don’t. What’s sticky about that? I mean, if you walk in obedience to the Lord, then you have faith that He will supply your need, and you give your tithe, cheerfully and whole-heartedly, meanwhile wishing you could give more. Not because your church tells you to, not because you get in arguments about tithing on your gross income vs. your net income, not out of guilt or belief that you can tithe your way into heaven (or any other place), but because the Lord your God tells you to bring your tithe and see if he does not fill your storehouse, and overflow your vats with new wine (so to speak.) That’s the only place in the bible where God offers to His children to test Him. (Malachi 3:10) – in the pocketbook. So I’m going to test him. While this is testing me. Have I got faith enough to trust that the Lord will provide? We’ll see. Tune in again soon. I’m praying on it.

Realistically, it’s all God’s to begin with. So what does that tell people about my level of faith if I hoard, when I claim to trust God fully? To my mind, it makes me a glaring hypocrite, that I claim to walk in faith and trust in the Lord to supply my need, and then rob His church because I’m afraid that He won’t supply my need this time. To borrow from a Prestonwood Choir song, “if I trust in God to supply my need… if I pray in faith, then I will receive. If I tell God about my problems, He’ll work it out, for me. Yeah.”

Now. Last night that was sorely tested for me. SORELY. I failed for a little while. I got mad. I cried. I decided (then changed my mind – thank the Lord) not to give my tithe. I threw a tantrum (in the privacy of my apartment). I took a shower. Then I got into the Word. Malachi, to be precise. Then I prayed. Then I talked to Birdie. Then we prayed. Then I prayed some more.

I still have the check. I’m going to turn it in Sunday, as per usual. If I want God’s blessing, then I have to trust Him, and I HAVE to walk in obedience. That’s the hard part for me. Please pray for my obedience, folks. This is coming very hard for me. I’m not a terribly obedient person, even on my BEST day; and when it comes to the money I earn, I have a careful eye on it. This month is tight, but God will supply my need.*

*my knitterly friends, this may seem shocking, but no, I do not count yarn as a need. Besides, I have a little stash and some projects to tide me over. I’ll be okay.

____Thus endeth the blog entry______Except for this stuff after the line_______

The afore-promised On the Needles update:
Currently on the needles:
The Mystery Project, in Sonata Yarn from Elann.com
The Seraphim Shawl, in KnitPicks Sock Garden (100% merino fingering weight – luscious)
Something that needs to be completed, but I don’t have the proper tools:
Rambling Rows Afghan – I’ve decided that I’m going to put an applied i-cord border on this baby. Couple very small problems with this:
1: I do not own size 8 dpns (I have sz 7 and sz 10 1/2) – blah. (I’m also reluctant to buy any, because I don’t know what else I’d use them for.) Could I maybe fudge it with a relatively short circular? It’ll be a bunch of maneuvering, but I could maybe do that instead…. ?
2: Is there a way to do I-cord in garter stitch, or a garter-stitch like pattern? Sounds like a naive question, but I think it would look better if it has a garter-stitchy look to it, rather than just standard i-cord, b/c the whole rest of the blanket is garter-stitched – not a stockinette stitch anywhere on the thing.
3: I don’t know how to do the corners, and I don’t want the border to be too loose/too tight in comparison to the rest of the blanket. I want my blankie to have an edging, not a lip. Make sense?

Anyway, that’s where I am on stuff. Pictures to come soon, hopefully. I’m still trying to wangle a digital camera from someplace. I had a digital camera, but it was really cheap (like $10), and a battery died inside of it and got pasty-acid all over the thing. It was nasty. so I threw it away. I hated doing that, but it didn’thave a flash and it wasn’t like I spent the big bucks on it. It was literally $10. But I digress.

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One Response to “A common event? (This entry has almost no knitting content, until the very bottom.)”

  1. Wendy said

    Hey chica,

    You are definitely in my prayers.
    Believe me, I know how hard it is to stay faithful to what God calls us to do, but I can testify to His goodness and faithfulness. I promise that He will pass the test with flying colors and bless you in ways that may suprise you… so keep your eyes open.
    Remember, God loves to bless His children and He delights in helping them to spread His name and declare His glory. He has an incredible plan for your life and I can hardly wait to see what He’s gonna accomplish through you.

    Grace and peace!

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