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twice in a year

Posted by Miss Knotty on December 11, 2005

Twice this year I have come into the same bible lesson: once in the Wanting to Be Her study, once in the ABF I went to this morning, wherein I arrived late, but still in enough time to get basically the whole lecture.

I went to yet another church today (other than CoveCh)… This church shall be called, “Good Golly Big Church”, or “GGBC”.

The ABF was talking about biblical womanhood and the role of a wife/woman in marriage, and what it means to be a woman of faith.

POW! This was a bit of a smack to the forehead for me, as I think about it this evening. I don’t trust God as much as I’d like to think I do. Bad Regina. Bad. (Chastisement over)

So anyway, yeah. I was thinking about this. What is it to be this biblical woman? Of course, we go back to Proverbs 31 for this description. This, this is a tricky thing. This woman is a paradigm of virtues. A PARADIGM. I know I am not this woman. But I wonder if it counts at all that I strive to be her, or if simply wanting to be her and working to be her is acceptable. I’m inclined to think that CoveCh’s new Singles Minister and his wife would say, OH MY GOSH of course it’s acceptable. Admirable, even.

So, next question. Do I find this acceptable, to be merely striving to be her, or is completion of the ideal the only yardstick for success for me? That’s like asking me if only an absolutely perfect knitted piece is acceptable, or if there’s a mistake that’s only perceptible to me is still an acceptable piece. I mean, I strive for perfection, but sometimes I knit tired, sometimes I get distracted and forget where I am in pattern, it happens. My running assumption is that something is imperfect if it’s come off my needles. I call the mistake stitches ‘spirit stitches’. If it’s not absolutely 100% perfect that’s okay, because it’s not about the knitting, it’s about the thought and the love that goes into the knitting as I produce it right?

Sometimes I think this mentality is akin to the thinking in Joshua where they’re conquering Canaan and leave a few cities (only a very few, but still) of the pagans and they don’t complete the job. They almost finish the job, but they just leave a few little towns. What’s a few little towns? They’re subject to us, they’re appropriately afraid, they just still worship their (false) gods. No biggie, right God? Yeah. Uh huh. Says God, “Not so much”.

My friend Birdie pointed out to me that a number of the people who were a danger to the men of the Old Testament come from these towns that they just didn’t get around to destroying.

Goliath was from one of those towns.
Jezebel was from another.

Just sayin’.

Still though. Is ‘almost’ ever good enough? Is striving toward perfection, even if there’s no real chance of actually meeting perfection, but hope is alive, is striving enough?

The old adage goes, “almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”.

See, the thing is though, I believe that God is love. I believe that God knows our innermost hearts. If that’s so, then He knows I’m trying to be his biblical woman. I’m trying to be that woman of virtue that is so glowingly described in Proverbs 31. A good steward, a woman that works with her hands and does good works in the community, a woman that is strong; strong in faith and strong in love, both in giving love to her family around her and to God. So if He knows I’m striving, and knows my heart, why would I feel as though almost doesn’t count? Why should I feel so?

I also believe that guilt comes from the devil. I won’t name him here because he has no place in my life. I’m aware he’s in the world, but I have no dealings with the likes of him and no desire to have dealings with him. Shoo, devil. Shoo.

Anyway, so the ABF this morning (which is adult bible fellowship, the new ‘lingo’ to make the name ‘Sunday School’ disappear into old people church) was rather convicting. Particularly since I’ve heard all of this before, and didn’t really like hearing it then. To hear it again, obviously someone’s trying to get my attention. The ole holy spirit is giving me a nudge here, to remind me that I have some things to do in life, besides knit. I got knitting covered. It’s everything else that’s a mess.

My apartment is a nightmare, although I did clean my kitchen all crazy-like today – go me! and I got a bunch of repair work done while I had the hot-glue gun out (my refrigerator door looks FAN-TASTIC!) and a lot of the surfaces in my house that were covered with messiness are slightly less covered with messiness now. Yay!

That said, I still have cleaning to do.

Okay, so here’s a quick knitting update:

I’m still working on the second/first pillar lacework sock, although I’ve got the heel gussets in and I’m just working down the foot now. Wee!

I’ve made no progress on the Branching Out Scarf

I’ve made some progress on the muppet/fraggle scarf, because I don’t have to work off a pattern to do that one.

I’ve found a pattern for another lacework scarf I’d like to do, but I’m going to have to get some assist from my LYS before I get going on it, and that *ALSO* means that I’ll have to wait until my self-imposed banishment from said LYS is up. Here’s info on that banishment, so that you know what’s going on:

I have banished myself from the yarn store until I do several things:

1) I have reduced my stash somewhat. It’s not as crazy a stash as others have, only one plastic under-bed storage box full, a shelf-sized cardboard box, a summer tote and a couple shopping bags (plus miscellaneous little leftover yarn balls in the weird phone-table thingy in my living room). By my calculation (and having seen pics of other peoples’ stashes online, I think it’s a pretty modest stash. Yes. a MODEST STASH INDEED. I do not have any furniture dedicated entirely to yarn storage, or a bookcase dedicated to knitting book storage, ergo the stash is NOT out of control. In fact, some knitters would say that my fledgling stash is rather pathetic. (Those standards include having rooms in one’s house dedicated/or an entire second house dedicated to to a single color or color family, but hey, each to his/her own;)

2) I have finished the acrylic blanket I started crocheting over 2 years ago. But still, what an accomplishment finishing the thing will be.. And it’ll be big and look good on my bed. It’s in varying shades of sage – pretty. Acrylic, but pretty;

3) I have less than $5,000 in aggregate credit card debt (I have over $12,000 right now); (The yarn store banishment is my carrot to keep chipping away at this debt until I get it under wraps – no pun intended.);

Please, dear readers, help me keep my carrot in mind!!! Argh. I’ll have knitted up all the yarn in my stash before I get my debt down, but that’s okay. I’ll just stay on course. And I have other crafts to keep my hands busy until the debt’s paid off. I have enough ink to reproduce the lindisfarne gospels in calligraphy, and stationery enough to send a love letter to a military man in each branch of the military every day for a month, if I were so inclined.

I also have sketchbooks and paint, and I still haven’t painted the legs on my coffee table, and the weird phone table thing in the living room still needs work; I started painting it but never finished. I should really put pictures of all these works on the web so all you dear reader(s?) can have a look and know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, there’s the latest update.

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