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Henna and the worst version of myself

Posted by Miss Knotty on October 22, 2005

Okay, so I’ve hennaed my roots – now the 3-hour soaking-in time. I’m planning to use this time to catch up some on my bible reading and do laundry. Woot! Go me! Instead all I want to do is surf knitting blogs. And knit, and read my novel or something other than my bible. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve had the weirdest feeling of being repelled by the idea of getting in the word. I think this may be a spiritual attack – the devil tempting me with other activities (or books) that draw me away from the Word, when all along I KNOW I should be reading more than just the verse or two I get from my ‘bible verse a day’ e-mails at work. I mean, even that little bit is good. I’ve started kind of using those bible verse a day e-mails like other people use their horoscope e-mails – I read the verse, and I think on its meaning, and then I think on what areas of my life it applies to and how I could live a better life by sticking to the truth of the verse better. Obviously the inspired word of God is a better thing to apply to my life daily than some “psychic”‘s idea of what’s going to happen in my day, but I wonder if I’m not mistreating the word a little by doing it this way. I haven’t done an actual quiet time with the bible and my journal in a while – it’s been a really busy week, and when I get home from my various activities out, I usually just blog and go to bed. And this, this is no bueno. I need to really get into the habit of doing a quiet time every morning. I don’t know how to get going with this though. I mean, I know those who would say ‘get going? whatever, girl. Just do it. Commit to getting up earlier, sit down and have a prayer time with God.’ But I have to be a little more methodical than that (oh, the irony. The Whimsy has to be more methodical.); I like to sit down and know what I’m going to read, and I haven’t gotten on any set pattern for that, except that I know I’m on a bible reading plan, but the reading is more of a straight through, not a thinking game. In the past, my quiet times have been more of a ‘start writing and it’ll come to you’ kind of thing, wherein I reference past reading and then usually end up with a written prayer of some kind by the end. Then I close in prayer and go on to the rest of my day. This usually also involves an excursion to Starbucks or some loudish place. I’m beginning to think though, that that’s really uncool. I mean, Starbucks is a great place and I LOVE it. But maybe my quiet times out are for the wrong reason. I say this because I’m wondering if this draw to Starbucks is out of a desire to get out of the house, or to maybe be all ‘hey, look at me! Look how devout I am! Loooookkk aaattt mmmeeee!'(But not in such a banner way), or maybe that if I go to Starbucks to do it I’ll get distracted or meet someone or something like that. I mean, I could just as easily make myself a cup of coffee here at home and sit at my table, put on some funky music (of the type they play at Starbucks) and pretend I’m at a coffee house, (while also getting some house stuff done in the meantime… not that I need to do house stuff, (yeah right – when don’t I need to do house stuff? I’m the worst housekeeper ever) mind you, but that the place looks better when I’ve done it.) And maybe actually get some actual quality quiet time in, rather than just look the part and not benefit as much.

I’m really eager to actually benefit from quiet time, rather than looking all good and not reaping the desired benefit. I want to be like my friend Robyn. She’s on fire for the Lord. I mean, I think that she and her husband are about the most devoted people I know to their walk with God. And they’re newlyweds (i.e. the most distracted time in a marriage, if you ask me (nudge nudge)), and they’re just as committed as a married couple as they each were as singletons. That’s so awesome. I hope my marriage is like that, when/if I ever get married.

So okay. I’m going to go do my QT. Real QT and read my bible some more and start another load of wash.

I feel like a Rosie the Riveter moment: Yes we can!!! (The royal ‘we’ of course)

2 Responses to “Henna and the worst version of myself”

  1. Julie said

    I struggle with the same thing regarding quite time. Funny how the most innocent things, knitting, blogging, etc. can be the things used in a spiritual attack to distract us from something so important. I hear often that morning is the best for quite time but I’ve found that evenings, right before bed are my best for me. I think your plan of reading, meditating on the word and journaling about it is a really great way to start. I enjoyed reading your blog…better after some of the other garbage I just came across.

  2. Regina said

    Thanks, Julie!

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