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Hopeless Bleak Despair and faith in the Lord

Posted by Miss Knotty on October 10, 2005

Okay, so I kinda go into these funk phases where I’m bummed and everything is going to turn to poo, and anxious (I’m a bit of a worrier – see the bit in my post last night about the sock yarn), and my whole life is a waste and I’m going to die alone with 40 cats and no one is going to love me ever because I’m totally unlovable and…. see where I’m going with this?

And then I go through times when I’m filled to overflowing with peace and calm, and I trust that whatever happens, the Lord is in control, and that whatever happens happens for a reason – His reason, and even if it’s an inconvenience or a hassle or whatever, the Lord is behind the steering wheel, and he’s probably trying to teach me something by ‘inconveniencing’ me, and as long as I have faith and do my part, things will turn out the way He wants them. And even if I don’t have faith, eventually things will come full circle. But the easier, more peaceful, more content way is to just chill and do His way. I mean, He does know best, truly, right? So yeah.

(I got this great verse this morning in my bible-verse a day e-mail:
And he called to him the multitude with his disciples, and said to them, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? For what can a man give in return for his life? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of man also be ashamed, when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.”
Mark 8:34-38

The particularly pertinent part is the end of that: “For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life form my sake and the gospel’s will save it. FOR WHAT DOES IT PROFIT A MAN, TO GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND FORFEIT HIS LIFE?” Basically, this calls back to the other verse (I want to say it’s in John that just basically says ‘don’t worry. Worrying won’t add a second to your life. God doesn’t let a sparrow fall out of the sky, so he’ll take care of you, you’re much more valuable than a sparrow (paraphrasing big time here).

So anyway, I guess I’m still in”New Christian Transition Phase”, where I waffle back and forth about trusting in the Lord, knowing that I should, and sometimes actually able to, but then not doing it, or knowing that I need to and actually being able to follow through with that trust. I don’t trust the Lord all the time. Usually that’s when the anxiety and depression set in, and then once I put my faith back where it belongs, things get really so much better. Who woulda thunk?

Okay, so on a separate side note: What do you think is the proportion of people who are extremely depressed/chronically depressive and non-christians? Do you think maybe atheists and agnostics – people who espouse a ‘nothing to live for-nowhere to go when you die’ philosophy – Maybe they have chronic depression because they don’t believe in that higher power? That maybe if they put their faith in the Lord, that some of the imbalance would even out, and their outlook would improve? I mean, yeah, depression is the result of chemical imbalance in the brain – that’s the scientific line. But maybe that imbalance STARTED somewhere, and wasn’t genetic. I wonder if people would ever do a study of people who have chronic depressive disorders and discuss their religioius life (in a purely-non-witness way), might notice a trend in that department.

I wonder…..


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